The Perfect Christmas Gift
by nikkiRA
Summary: or, Why You Shouldn't Ask Nico di Angelo for Help. Percabeth oneshot, T for some swearing/ The thing about Nico di Angelo is that he just likes to spread mischief. It's all harmless fun, really.


**This little story was written for medicatedxlives over at Livejournal, for the Percy Jackson Exchange, to the prompt 'the perfect Christmas present.' I hope you all had a good holiday!**

* * *

The thing about Percy Jackson is that- bless his little heart- he really has _no idea. _For instance, last year he had genuinely believed that Annabeth would like a coat rack for her birthday. Because, as he had told her, _you have a lot of coats, Annabeth._ Annabeth, being Annabeth, had thanked him, put the coat rack in the corner of her bedroom, and used it, because why waste a perfectly good coat rack? Later Percy told Nico about his present and Nico had burst into laughter. Nico had laughed for so long that Percy had to punch him in the stomach to make him stop.

"What? What are you laughing at?"

Nico looked at him, tears in his eyes. "Percy, you got your girlfriend of, how long, like two years? You got her a _coat _rack. I don't know what the etiquette for two years is, but I am one hundred percent sure it isn't a _coat rack."_

"But... but Annabeth has a lot of coats."

Nico drops his head into his hands. "How do you have a girlfriend? I would like to know."

"But Annabeth seemed to like it."

"Percy, it was a _coat rack. _She was being nice and thoughtful for some reason because I'll be honest, if it had have been me I would have hit you over the head with the damn thing. Which would have been fun, because it wouldn't even hurt you. So I could do it over and over."

"So you're telling me the coat rack was a bad decision."

Nico grabs his friend by the shoulders and shakes him. "Percy. I don't know how I can make this any clearer. _You gave your girlfriend a coat rack."_

Percy collapses onto the couch, his face pressed into the cushions, arm hanging limply over the side.

"Oh _gods, _Nico, I gave my girlfriend a coat rack."

* * *

The thing about Annabeth Chase is that she just wants everything to be _perfect. _It has to do with the architect inside of her- one nail missing and the whole building can collapse. That's how she approaches any kind of big event- Christmas, birthdays, any kind of party. Because it's somebody's special day and she wants to make it even more special.

The problem with trying to be perfect is that it takes an awfully long time. She searches for the perfect gift and is never truly happy with it, even when the recipient glows and showers her with thanks.

On the other hand, Annabeth doesn't need perfect gifts for herself. She doesn't care what people get her as long as they put some thought into it. So okay, her boyfriend got her a coat rack. But Percy's face as he watched her open it, the apprehension and nervousness, made her stomach flutter. It was a coat rack. To hang her coats on. But Annabeth hadn't cared because it was from the boy she loved. So she had put it in her bedroom and had hung her coats on it, because why waste a perfectly good coat rack?

The thing about Percy's birthday was that it was also their anniversary, which sent Annabeth's perfectionist brain into overdrive. So for instance, Percy's seventeenth birthday was also their one year anniversary. Annabeth spent two and half weeks looking for a gift, and had finally settled on taking him to a restaurant where she paid the cook to make all of their food blue, a CD she made of all of his favourite music, concert tickets that she had bribed Nico into getting for her, as well as some other assorted things she had picked up at garage sales and thrift stores, little trinkets that she knew he would like.

Percy got her a book. Just a book. And there wasn't even a rose pressed into the pages like in a romantic movie.

But why should Annabeth complain? It was quite a good book, after all. And she could tell, by the smell and the curl of the pages, that Percy had gone to a second hand bookstore, because he knew she loved second hand books, because they told another story, on top of the one within their pages. So clearly he had put some thought into it.

Percy had felt absolutely terrible no matter how often she told him that she loved it, and that it wasn't the gift that counted, it was the thought that went into it, and quite honestly she was surprised Percy had remembered anyway, and that she didn't love him any less. But he had stayed quiet for the rest of the night, and when he took her home he had kissed her and apologized for being such a crap boyfriend.

"You are _not _a crap boyfriend!"

"Annabeth look at the stuff you gave me! And look at what I gave you! You are the _best _gift giver I've ever met, you could make Zeus happy, and I feel bad because I don't know how to live up to that."

"You don't _have _to live up to that, Seaweed Brain! I don't care what you get me!"

He had cut her off with a kiss. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on hers and whispered, "Happy anniversary, Annabeth. I'm sorry I'm such a crap boyfriend."

She had whispered back "Happy birthday, Percy. I'm sorry you're such an idiot who doesn't understand that I'm always right and you should listen to me."

He had laughed and kissed her and overall, it was a very good anniversary.

* * *

The thing about Nico di Angelo is that he just likes to spread mischief. It's all harmless fun, really.

* * *

"Nico! Nico! _Nico di Angelo wake the hell up for the gods' sakes it is two o clock in the afternoon I will flood your entire house-"_

Nico opens the door and sees Percy standing there, fist in the air, ready to pound on the door again. With a grunt and muttering _about time _he pushes in past Nico and into the house.

Nico doesn't spend a lot of time in the house his father set up for him. When people come to call one of his father's Furies appears to impersonate Nico's 'aging mother,' but other than that he spends his time there alone. He doesn't really like it in the little house- he spends most of his time at Camp Half-Blood or with Percy, but occasionally he stays here.

Percy is standing in the middle of his kitchen, hands so deep in his hair Nico wouldn't be surprised if they got lost in there. He is twenty years old and looking terrified, pacing and fidgeting and looking as though he's debating where to hide the body.

"So." Nico reclines against the counter. "Christmas shopping going well?"

Percy gives Nico a look that would scare small children. "Don't start with me, di Angelo."

"You're the one who barged into my house threatening to burst all my water pipes!"

Percy makes a strangled noise. "Four years. _Four years. _Four years worth of presents and I still don't know what the hell to buy my girlfriend."

"Didn't she tell you that it didn't matter what you got her as long as it _came from your heart?" _Nico places his hands over his chest and smiles in a mocking way, which quickly turns into a scowl as his sink turns on. "Do you mind?"

Percy ignores him, continuing to pace. "There are three days until Christmas. _Three. _Do you know how many that is?"

Nico holds up three fingers. "This many?"

_ "Three days! _And I don't have a gift for Annabeth!"

Nico shrugs, totally unperturbed. "Cut a heart out of some cardboard, decorate it with glitter and write _I love you. _Done."

Percy groans. "You are not helping."

"She isn't my girlfriend! You know her better than I do!"

Percy grabs his friend by the shoulders. "Nico. This is serious. I have four years of shitty presents backing me up. Four years worth of failures. _I need a success."_

"Why? You've never cared before if your presents sucked."

Percy shakes him. _"Help me!"_

"Alright! Gods, I'll tell you what, I'll talk to Annabeth about it."

"You can't ask Annabeth what she wants! That defeats the purpose!"

"Obviously I won't say it's for _you, _idiot, I'll say it's because I don't know what to get her or something."

Percy relaxes before him. "Nico. I could kiss you."

"I'd rather you didn't, Annabeth might get mad."

"Thank you! Thank you! Gods, thank you."

"Yes, I heard you. Now get out before you turn all my taps on in happiness."

* * *

Nico is just about to go see Annabeth when she knocks on his door. He had thought that kind of thing only happened in the movies, but he's not going to question it, because Annabeth randomly showing up at his house means he doesn't have to bother with shadow travelling.

"We can't keep meeting like this, Annabeth, Percy will start to suspect something."

Annabeth doesn't acknowledge this, just pushes past him in a perfect imitation of her boyfriend. Nico sighs. "I'm putting forth quality jokes tonight and nobody is appreciating them. This is a travesty."

Annabeth whirls around, strands of hair escaping her ponytail and falling down into her face. "Nico. We have a problem."

"You've finally realized you've been dating Percy Jackson for four years, and you're wondering what got into you?"

Annabeth gives him a look that would scare most grown men. He holds up his hands in surrender. "Alright, I'm sorry, this is serious business, I get it. What's the problem?"

"I don't know what to get Percy for Christmas."

Nico is certain he's misheard her. "Uhm... sorry?"

"Percy!" Annabeth looks almost panic stricken. "I don't know what to get him for Christmas!"

"But... but Annabeth, you're the present queen. This is your territory! You always know what to give for gifts!"

Annabeth tugs on her ponytail. "I _know! _But this year, I just... I blanked! Everything I looked at, it just... wasn't good enough."

Nico shakes his head, astonished. "Well- and I say this with the utmost respect so please don't hit me- what do you want me to do about it?"

Annabeth lets out a low moan of complete distress. "I just... I can't believe I'm doing this, but do you think you could maybe, _oh gods, _talk to him? Snoop around and... and figureoutwhathewants? Oh gods I'm a terrible girlfriend, I can't believe I have to resort to this."

Nico watches his friend pace distractedly about his kitchen, just as her boyfriend had done only a few hours earlier. And he can't help the little plan that begins to bloom in his mind. These things just happen. And, he reflects, it really would be a waste of a perfectly good prank if he didn't act on it. Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean he can't have a bit of fun.

"Er, Annabeth... actually, Percy and I were talking, and he did mention to me something he really wanted..."

* * *

"Percy?"

"Why do you always ask? You call my house, Nico, who do you think is going to answer?"

"If you're going to be an asshole, I'm not going to tell you what Annabeth said."

"You found out already? Oh gods, Nico, I owe you big time."

"Yeah, no shit. Come over and I'll explain it to you."

* * *

"...That's really what she wants?"

Nico nods and fights to keep a straight face. "I thought it was a little odd, too, but I figure she's just in the middle of a nervous breakdown or something. She's been rebuilding Olympus for four years, that's gotta take a toll on your sanity."

Percy anxiously runs a hand through his hair. "You're sure?"

"Positive."

Percy nods, face set in determination. "Alright. Thanks, Nico."

Nico claps his friend on the shoulder. "Don't even mention it, man."

* * *

Annabeth enlists his help for the party. They decorate her apartment, get a bigger, more festive tree, and buy a lot of food. They send out invitations to all the campers. As party planning goes, Nico thinks they do pretty well.

"You're sure this is what he wants?"

"Uhm, yeah. He said something about how he misses everyone. I think he's feeling nostalgic for the old days. Wants a Christmas with all the people he loves, yada yada. I've stopped questioning the sanity of Percy Jackson."

She straightens a tablecloth adorned with snowmen and reindeer. "If you say so."

"So tomorrow," Annabeth begins on Christmas Eve, as they're putting the final touches on her apartment. "Should I go get him? Or call him?"

Nico does some quick thinking. "Uh, no, I'll bring him over. You've done enough, plus you'll have to be here making sure the Stoll's don't steal and/or break anything."

"Or put my bras on their heads and dance around."

"Again."

Annabeth smiles and then turns to him. "I really appreciate this, Nico."

He almost feels guilty.

But not quite.

* * *

"Hey- Connor. Travis. Come here."

He intercepts the twins before they enter Annabeth's building. "Word of advice- make sure you have your cameras ready."

In unison, both of them raise their left eyebrows. It's slightly creepy. "What have you done, di Angelo?" Travis asks. Nico winks.

"Just- trust me. Camera's. And not a word!"

They both grin and salute him. "Our lips are sealed."

* * *

"Nico?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think I can do this."

"Come on, Percy. You can do this. It takes a real man, and shit."

Percy's voice comes from somewhere across the room. He wouldn't let Nico turn on the lights when he arrived. "I just... why? _Why does she want this?"_

"She's your girlfriend, dude. I'm not going to speculate on her weird sexual fantasies, alright?"

"What have I gotten myself into?"

"Come on, Percy. You took down fucking Kronos! You got abducted by Romans! You lost your memory and still managed to kick ass all over the place! _You can do this!"_

Percy takes a deep breath. "I can do this. Alright. I can do this."

"Okay. Let's go."

"You're coming with me?"

"Uhm. For support. And. Well I have to drop off Annabeth's present, anyway. Don't worry. I'll leave right after."

"Okay. But I'm wearing a coat until we get there."

"Fair enough."

* * *

When Percy and Nico arrive outside Annabeth's door, they stop and stare for a brief moment.

"You ready, tiger?"

"Don't call me tiger; it seems wildly inappropriate, given the circumstances."

Nico grins. "Right. Got it."

"Okay. Let's do this."

"Er, Percy? Take the jacket off."

Percy makes a pained face. "But-"

"OFF."

Percy glares daggers at him... and then removes the long overcoat he was wearing.

Underneath, in Annabeth's supposed 'perfect Christmas present' is Percy Jackson, clad in women's lingerie. It's a lovely shade of green ("to match your eyes." "Christ, Nico."), all lace and fishnets and other things Nico can't even name. Nico isn't exactly an expert in women's lingerie, so he isn't sure what exactly is going on, how Percy managed to get it all on, or how, exactly, he's going to get it all off. All he knows is that Percy Jackson is wearing women's lingerie and he's about to walk into Annabeth's Christmas party.

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"I swear, di Angelo, I will punch you in the nose."

* * *

It all unfolds in slow motion. Nico can't stop grinning as Percy opens the door, and Nico watches as suddenly the lights flick on and a huge shout of _MERRY CHRISTMAS! _dies on everybody's lips.

Nico desperately tries to hold himself together as everyone tries to figure out what, exactly, is happening. It's the Stoll brothers who recover the quickest, camera's poised and ready, and as soon as the flashes go off the rest of the room erupts into tumultuous laughter. Percy is quite lucky demi-gods don't normally carry cell phones; however the few that do have them out in a flash and are snapping pictures of the boy, whose entire body has turned a startling shade of red, which matches quite nicely with the green lingerie and adds a certain Christmas feeling to the whole thing.

Annabeth is staring at Percy in a mixture of horror, awe, and what might possibly be lust. "Percy... may I ask what the outfit is about?"

Percy is now such a deep shade of red that Nico is slightly worried he'll never go back to his normal colour. "But- you- this is... why..." it isn't until Connor slaps Nico on the back and Travis high fives him that comprehension dawns on Percy's face. He sputters for a few moments, muttering inarticulate nothings, before finally shouting _"Nico di Angelo, I am going to fucking kill you!"_

Nico shouts and tries to hide himself behind Clarisse, who shoves him away from her, laughing. Nico ducks behind the couch and then runs around to cower behind Annabeth.

"I swear to Zeus, Nico, when I'm done with you you'll be so broken you won't even be able to shadow travel."

Annabeth clucks her tongue. "Really Percy, must you be so violent?"

Percy studies her face, horror spreading across his face when he sees her lips twitch up into a smile. He groans. "Oh Annabeth, not you too? You're supposed to be on _my _side!"

Annabeth suddenly bursts into laugher, which sends the room once again into hysterics. Percy pouts and Annabeth puts a hand on his arm, wiping tears from her eyes. "Oh Percy, you have to admit it's funny! Nico told me you wanted a party for Christmas- I'm guessing he told you I wanted you in lingerie. It was quite clever."

Percy looks like he's about to explode. "Quite. Clever."

"Besides, you got a hot little ass, Jackson."

This comes from, of course, one of the Stoll brothers. Percy stares around the room for a few moments and then a smile creeps across his face. He points at Nico.

"Next year, we're getting _you _in lingerie."

Nico puts on a face of mock horror. "Percy! Not in front of your girlfriend!"

Percy laughs, pulls Annabeth towards him and kisses her for long enough that the crowd erupts in cheers. When he pulls away Annabeth is just as red as he is.

"Have you all enjoyed the little show?" He asks, laughing at the catcalls that answer his question. He smirks, shakes his head, and then turns back to Annabeth.

"Annabeth... gods, I wasn't exactly expecting this, and when I planned this out I definitely imagined something a little different to this, but if this is what I have to work with then so be it.

"You've been my girlfriend for four years and over those four years I've given you, as gifts, a coat rack, pillow cases, a mirror, and a laundry hamper, among other things." There are sniggers from the crowd, and Nico rolls his eyes. Percy is the _worst _present giver, without a doubt. "And I know I give the worst gifts imaginable, but you've always thanked me and smiled and even used them."

"The coat rack is still in my room."

He grins. "Exactly. And this year, I kind of wanted everything to be perfect. Extra super perfect, to make up for four year of shitty presents, but also because this moment is supposed to be perfect. And so I went to this shithead for help, which was a terrible idea and remind me never to do it again."

Nico blows him a kiss. Percy catches it and stuffs it in his corset.

"And I'm not going to get down on my knee, because you always said you hated it- I believe your exact words were, _if you ever propose- and this isn't me dropping blatant hints, I'm just saying- do not get down on one knee. And I'm not saying that just to be contrary when I actually do want you to get down one knee, because I really don't. _Also, I think if I bent down my underwear would split, and I think you've all seen enough of me tonight."

The crowd laughs. Will Solace growls seductively at him.

"Also, the ring is in my jacket pocket. I was going to do this during dinner, but then this happened, and I mean, where exactly can you keep a ring in this outfit?"

"Well-"

"Shut up, Nico."

"And this doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to. We can get married tomorrow or in ten years. This is just so you know that I _will _marry you one day, Annabeth Chase." Suddenly all the confidence leaves his face. "I mean, uh... if you want to."

The crowd, which had been so loud before, is utterly silent. Even the Stoll brothers are quiet, cameras forgotten. Thalia has a hand clapped over her mouth. Grover is eating a Coke can, eyes fixed on the scene in front of him. Even Nico keeps his mouth shut.

"So... will you marry me?"

Everyone turns to look at Annabeth, who is staring at Percy in complete shock. Then she laughs. Percy's face falls.

"Is that... a no, then?"

Annabeth walks over to him and takes his face in her hands. "Percy Jackson, do you realize that for the rest of our lives, when people ask us how you proposed, we'll have to tell them that you were wearing women's lingerie?"

Hope is restored to Percy's face. "So then... that's a _yes?_"

Annabeth throws her arms around his neck and kisses him hard, and the room erupts into cheers.

When they break apart, Percy says, "Well, I hope you've enjoyed this little show, but I'm going to go put some actual clothing on, now." The room erupts into groans and Nico throws an arm around his best friend's shoulders.

"So, what with this all turning out well, and you getting married and being in love and so on... well, it was kind of thanks to me, right? I made this whole plan much more memorable, and frankly I think this proposal is much better than anything _you _could up with, right? So... all's well that ends well, right?"

Percy laughs, slings an arm around Nico's shoulders and grins at him. "Oh Nico. You are so, so dead. So very, very dead."

Nico smiles. "Merry Christmas?"

Percy squeezes his shoulder. "Merry Christmas, you little shit." Then he turns back towards Annabeth. "Uhm, Annabeth? I'm gonna need help getting this off."

Annabeth laughs and leads him into her bedroom. Just before the door closes, Percy sticks his head out.

"We might be a little while... mingle amongst yourselves."

The room laughs and Nico settles in with the crowd, lets himself be congratulated and thinks that this was a pretty good Christmas, all things considered.


End file.
